


I Wouldn't Mind

by TheSaioumaShipper



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Boys In Love, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Low Self-Esteem, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24515956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSaioumaShipper/pseuds/TheSaioumaShipper
Summary: 'Forever is a long time. But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side.'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yuuri has always had anxiety, self-doubt, and most recently, depression. But ever since he got engaged to the skating god, Viktor Nikiforov, his depression took a turn for the worst, feeling like he was never enough for Viktor.On Valentine's day, the voices seem to get worse. Yuuri is now debating if he should even stay with Viktor anymore.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	I Wouldn't Mind

It's February 14th. Also known as Valentine's day. Known as the day of love for couples, as well as a day for single pringles to mope about being single.

Viktor and Yuuri were currently in Gangneung, South Korea, with the 2017 Four Continents Championship in just a few days. Though Yuuri didn't make it to the Championship, Viktor did and Yuuri came to support him. This was Viktor and Yuuri's first Valentine's day together. While Viktor was quite excited about it, Yuuri was very nervous. His self-doubt and depression had been getting worse since the December the two males exchanged the rings he had bought them.

The voices in his head told him he wasn't good enough, that Viktor only liked him out of pity, that if Viktor found out how messed up his mind was, he would leave him. Yuuri was able to keep these thoughts at bay, but since it was Valentine's day, the voices got worse.

The couple was currently at the rink the Four Continents would be taking place. Viktor's routine was beautiful and Yuuri couldn't take his eyes off his significant other. Viktor wanted to get the routine over with so they could go sightseeing for the big day. But Yuuri wanted Viktor to make sure the routine was perfect, which it was. But he needed an excuse so he could have more time to deal with his inner demons at the moment.

"Come on, Yuuri~" Viktor began to complain, "I've already gone over the routine almost a million times. Yakov even said I was done for the day." The older man did his big, watery puppy-dog eyes at his fiancé. Yuuri should know he doesn't have good stamina, so why was he pushing him so hard? Both routines were perfect and were sure to win the Championship.

The twenty-four-year-old sighed, finally giving in to the pleads. He was able to get most of the thoughts to the back of his head, so he knew he should be good.

After dropping Viktor's skates at the hotel they were staying at, they began exploring the sea-side city. The place was beautiful, with cherry blossoms beginning to bloom and the many sightseeing places. But, every once in a while, a small voice would pop in and say something ruthless, causing Yuuri to slowly stop enjoying the day of love.

Yuuri and Viktor ate at a fancy restaurant before going back to the hotel. Viktor went ahead to take a shower, hopefully not using all the hot water, as Yuuri sat on the edge of the bed.

_'You're nothing.'_

_'You're worthless.'_

_'You won't amount to anything.'_

_'He pities you.'_

_'You might as well leave him before he leaves you.'_

That last one hurt the young skater the most. He didn't want to leave Viktor. Yuuri loved him with all his heart, and Viktor has obviously shown he would give up just about anything to be with him. So why? Why was his mind this way? Why did the universe hate him? Why did whatever spirit in the sky make him feel this way?

It's because it was all true. Yuuri was a piece of crap compared to Viktor. He would never get any better in skating. The only thing he has to be proud of is the silver medals he got from last year's GP. This was what his inner self told him. And he believed all of it.

Why does Viktor love him? He had so many flaws. There was nothing to be proud of. Nothing that would make Viktor proud to call Yuuri his lover, his boyfriend, his fiancé, his future husband. Viktor was perfect in every way possible, while Yuuri was a ball of depression ready to burst.

He didn't realize it until a little while later, but Yuuri had begun crying. He wiped the tears away, but more replaced those. No matter what, he couldn't stop the salty water from escaping his eyes. He laid back and just let the tears come.

_'You're imperfect.'_

_'There is nothing special about you.'_

_'Might as well pack your bags for when he finally tells you the truth.'_

_'Who would want to spend a lifetime with you?'_

_'Viktor doesn't love you.'_

"Yuuri?"

The familiar Russian accent filled his ears, making Yuuri move his hands away from his watery eyes. Viktor was in one of the hotel's bathrobes with a towel around his neck, his hair still dripping water.

Quickly sitting up, he wiped his tears away and looked at the handsome man in front of him. But, since the universe hated him, a few more escaped.

Viktor had never seen Yuuri like this. Sure, he's seen him cry before, his eyes red and puffy. But there was something different about this time.

Sitting down on the bed, Viktor looked Yuuri in the eyes. "What's the matter?" He asked. "Nothing! Nothing at all." The older skater's eyes narrowed at the man in front of him. "Yuuri, please, you don't have to hide anything from me. You know you can trust me."

_'If you were to ever tell him, he would leave you for sure.'_

Yuuri mentally winced at the comment his mind made. Should he tell Viktor? What if he does leave? What if he could never love someone as messed up as him?

What if Yuuri were to just leave? What if, just before dawn, he packed his bags and left back to Hasetsu? Would Viktor come after him? Would he even care?

"Why would you even think that?" Viktor said, seeming to be close to tears himself. Yuuri looked up and his eyes widened. He said that all out loud.

"N-No! Viktor, it's not like that-" "I know what exactly what this is." A tear fell from the Russian's eye as he looked at Yuuri. "You think I don't love you? Do you not know me at all?"

 _'This was what I was afraid of. I messed up bad.'_ More tears fell as Yuuri thought of the words to say. "I do know you, Viktor. It's that you don't know me. My mental state." Viktor looked at the younger skater, bewildered.

"You know I have anxiety and self-doubt. Just a few months ago, I was diagnosed with depression. I tried to keep all of them at bay. But ever since we gave each other our good luck rings, my depression has skyrocketed. I feel like I'm not good enough. I wonder why you love me. If you even love and care for me." "Of course I love-" "I know that!" Yuuri snapped. "But even when I know, my demons just take that and crumble it into pieces, saying you don't. That you don't care about me. That I'm a piece of trash compared to you."

Viktor took Yuuri's glasses off before pulling the young skater into his arms, letting him cry it out. As he did so, he rubbed his back and drew imaginary circles. "I love you Yuuri, no matter what. People may wonder why I love you. It's because you make me happy. I love the way you make me laugh, the way you always know what to say. I just love everything about you. Your hobbies, your smile, your laugh, even your imperfections."

Yuuri looked up at Viktor through tears. "How can you love my imperfections? They're the worst part of me." Viktor smiled and hugged Yuuri tighter. "Your imperfections are what make you Yuuri Katsuki. They're what make you different from everyone else. Even if you look the same as someone or share something in common with them, your flaws are there to say 'This is what makes me Yuuri.'"

The younger skater felt his inner demons slowly recede. Yuuri never knew Viktor could be like this. His words and actions warmed his heart so. This is what it's like to truly be in love.

"So you really do love me. You'll stay with me forever, no matter what." Viktor chuckled and looked out the window in front of them. " **Forever is a long time** ," he looked back down at Yuuri, " **but I wouldn't mind spending it by your side**."

Yuuri heard Viktor's heartbeat through his decision. Before Yuuri could say anything, Viktor laid him down and straddled his waist. "I want to show you how much you mean to me," Viktor looked into Yuuri's puffy eyes and began caressing his cheek, "Will you allow me to do so?"

Yuuri began to blush, knowing what he was implying, but nodded. He may have been inexperienced, but he wanted to know how much Viktor really does love him. He was willing to do it.

That Valentine's night was the most eventful Valentine's Viktor and Yuuri had, and it was their first one together. But it sure was one neither of them would ever forget.

_Forever is a long time_

_But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side_

_Tell me every day I get to wake up to that smile_

_I wouldn't mind it at all_

_I wouldn't mind it at all_


End file.
